Contrary to popular belief, these posts don't always come easily to me. In fact, before I finally started making baby steps towards my dream of establishing an actual blog, I had been running from my passions for years.
In life, I had one constant: writing. If all else failed, I knew that without money or resources or material things, writing was one skill I could rely on. I had always thought of myself as the J.K Rowling type, writing on scraps or napkins or leftover gum wrappers if I were ever too destitute for paper. But honestly, by the time my blog made its initial debut, I really hadn't written anything I was passionate about since high school. Think about that, SIX YEARS without doing the one thing in life I LOVED doing, the ONE thing I thought I would never give up. The one thing I had always thought, defined ME.
I let SIX years go by without it. I let life get in the way, as it often does. I let it go because with everything else I had going on, the last thing I could imagine doing in my spare time was more writing. I began to think of it as "work" and work it became.
Think for a minute about what defines YOU. What characteristics you believe are an essential part of who you are.
Now I want you to think about giving them up and the circumstances under which, you just might consider doing so. If that seems ludicrous, that's because it is. It's fucking insane.
But, and stay with me here, now I want you to think about your dreams for a minute, I mean the ones you dreamt about your whole life.
The ones you told people when they asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, the ones you told your high school teachers when they asked about your plans for the future, the ones you proudly told you family, friends, acquaintances and anybody else willing enough to listen, when they asked what you wanted to do. Or the ones that came later in life, after you figured out what it was you didn't want to do.
Like what about that dream of becoming a race car driver after 15 years of training as a attorney or a local coffee shop owner after a lifetime of custodial work or what about your dreams of simply just coming out as whatever or whoever you truly are and having people TRULY accept you for that. Yes, those dreams. The ones that are so close that they always seemed just a little too out of reach. Bring them back here for a minute. And think about why they became dreams instead of truth.
Were those the reasons? Because if so, they aren't very good ones, and I can say that because all of those reasons were why I let my dreams remain just that, dreams. After all, aren't those reasons why we ALL let our dreams become just dreams?
I guess my point in all of this is, that fulfilling your dreams isn't easy. People make it look easy and for some people, the privileged, maybe it is.
But for us, us normal people, we the majority, it just isn't.
I'm sorry to say, it takes work and consciousness and sacrifices and a true desire for more.
Because every time I put my fingers to the keyboard of my laptop and tap out another post, it's somewhat forceful. It's part pleasure, part pain. And it starts out as mostly pain. It starts out with fear, laziness, denial, procrastination, convenience, confidence, money, selfishness, selflessness and doubt.
But you see for me, throughout this time, these things have become part of the journey and the thing about loving the journey is this, it is always less about the outcome and more about the journey itself. That sounds cliche, I know, but it's true.
Every day is another day in the journey, every step another in the long stride towards the things we want in life. And every single day, we must get up and decide what small step we will take to get just a little closer to the things we want.
And so, because of this I want to share a poem with you.
One that I had never heard before now. One that humbled me and inspired me as soon as I heard it.
It sort of follows in line with our fears about life, those expectations that hinder us from even beginning to fully dream. Because the thing is, that at the end of the day, all those things that hold us back from what we want, they don't matter. At least not the way we think they do, by the people we think they matter to. Not really. What matters is what brought us here and how we came to be.
And with that, I leave you :)
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."
And afterall, dear friends, isn't THAT what life is all about?
Daring to dream :)