I've been in a funk lately. I've been letting things get to me a little too much, a little too often. This week, instead of letting it go, I engaged with a coworker who was literally upset about a coffee carafe. Not even lying. Like I actually got upset with her. My blood pressure shot up, I started to see red, I stomped through the office. And I felt justified, if I'm being honest, even writing this I still do. But also (thankfully) I know, in my heart of hearts, how ridiculous it all was.
Sometimes in the heat of the moment, under the weight of all the world's problems, I let myself succumb to the insanity because if the rest of the world can be so fucked up, why can't I?
I swear this last year as an American and resident of the United States has become like some weird, satanical episode of South Park where aspects of normal daily life have been blown up, turned upside down, satirized and spewed back out into the world, and we the people are left feeling more backwards than ever.
As a member of the media, I often feel like I am constantly inundated with the good, the bad and the ugly. Mostly the former and latter. The #metoo movement, the belligerence of the current administration, the war in Syria, the shootings all over the country, they have all become a heavy burden to bear. And I feel the weight of them, coupled with my own problems, all become so personal. And the long awaited build up, it finally erupted in the form of a coffee carafe.
There are just days when life is harder than others. When you get so caught up in your head, when instead of taking a break, reflecting, or employing some much needed self-love, you keep pushing through and your own pain becomes a burden on others.
What I really needed the most, was the time to take a breath and find the joy in doing the things I love. To light a candle, pour myself some tea, spend some quality time with my family, relax with a beverage, discover a cool new place, cuddle up at home with my favorite guy and write.
I often get so caught up in the day to day that I forget to remember what started this little blog more than two years ago. My passion for writing, its healing, therapeutic effects in the times when I truly need it the most. Writing has always been my outlet. In every moment of sadness, inspiration, joy, anxiety, or just at the end of a particularly long day, the urge to write about it is always there. And it genuinely makes me feel better putting my thoughts into words.
My point in all of this is that everyone gets lost. We get to caught up in everything that's happening, we become so micro focused, that we forget to zoom out and focus on the big picture. Replacing the look-how far we've come moments with the whats the point moments. I get stuck in that place every once in a while and I have to consciously remind myself every single minute that it's going to be okay, that happiness is in the journey not the destination and that I have so many methods of decompression whether it be my family, friends, a relaxing yoga session, some time on the treadmill, a really yummy, delicious meal. All of these things recharge my soul.
Sometimes you just have to go back to the basics to find your inspiration. Remember why you started and how far you have come. And don't forget to do the things that make you happy. To make time for the moments, people and activities that rejuvenate and refresh you. You deserve to live every single day filled with hope, inspiration and love. Don't let the craziness in this world weight you down.
And remember that I am always here, I love you, I feel your pain like it is my own and I revel in your happiness just as you do.
It will be okay, I promise. This too shall pass.